Nuisance

Nuisance loves me. If it wasn't for me he'd have a different home - if one. There's a long story that goes with the day I got my family (my mother and father) to adopt him. I would have adopted him myself except I was living in San Francisco. A place I never thought I'd leave. I was just visiting Podunkville - something I didn't do even annually. I once went four years without coming to visit - I like it so much.

So on this day, July 24, 2004, I just ran six miles. I was getting ready to swim in my parent's pool when I saw what I thought was a rat. Not unusual. My parent live close to a woods. When I was growing up I found different animals in the pool I'd have to save or just retrieve, if they already drowned. In this case, it wasn't a rat but a baby bunny and still alive. I wrapped it in some towels and gave it some lettuce to eat. I kept an eye on it periodically and then suddenly it was gone. Just minutes later I saw a small scrawny cat hanging around. "Well, I have to feed that cat or he's going to eat my bunny." I said to myself. So I did.

As I swam my laps my father came out. His dog, Henry, had just died the previous week. "I guess we have a new pet," he says. "What should we name him ?" I asked. "Nuisance." And Nuisance became his name.

After swimming my laps I jumped on my nephew's bike, that was left here, and rode to Paradise eight miles away.

I felt fit after doing my little mini triathlon and ready to see my friend, Rodney, in the city. Rodney used to have a different girlfriend every time I saw him. I used to call him the Hugh Hefner of Kansas City. I have known him since I was four and as he would go through different women I remained his friend. As I've said before Rodney is the hippest person I know. I always have a great time with him and this time was no different. Except!

Except I had way too much to drink. Rodney suggested I stay at his house in the city. I didn't want to. I didn't want to because now I had the munchies and I wanted some ice cream that I knew was in my parents' freezer.

Although I didn't know Kansas City well, I had no problem getting out and on the highway back to Podunkville. I was a half mile from my parents' house when I got pulled over for not using my blinker. Why would I use my blinker? There was no one else on the road. That was the cop's excuse. A fight ensued and I manage to spit, kick and shove him. First I'm taken to the city jail, but because I assaulted the cop I was later taken to the county one.

I ended up getting a DUI and had to do a weekend in a motel taking alcohol related classes. This was actually fun. There were lots of games and I was very competitive. I considered the other 17 guys all idiots and red necks, but there were two other girls; one, an airline hostess and the other, an athletic club manager. We hung out together. At the end of the weekend everyone, except me, was told to never drink again. I was told I could have two classes of wine a days - seriously I'm not lying. I have my report.

Oh and the assault was dropped because the cop was fired for molesting another woman.

I'm writing about this now because at this moment Nuisance is sleeping next to me and he looks so sweet. My mother is threatening to get rid of him because he peed on her pillow. We both have our issues.