Plucking Chickens

I'm sure everyone out there has shaved their pubic hairs - every last one of them, especially if you're a porn star. I haven't. Oh yea I have shaved for a bikini, but the whole shabang?

My sister and her husband have these medical spas and I have used them to the full extent for things that people can see with your clothes on. Who cares what they can't see. Well, who cares unless you have a new lover, a new lover who's 25 yrs younger than you and you're still making him go south for punishment. God! Who's being punished?

My sister tells me I have to shave completely before they take the hair off. Why am I having the hair taken off then? Can't they just zap it all off? Since most of you have already done this it's no big deal to go down there with a razor with all those soft sensitive folds and hope that you don't rip them right off.

My appointment is at 10:15 - I thought. I'm in the tub with my legs spread. I'm late, I think, trying to go between the valleys without causing blood. It needs to be smooth. After over 50 yrs with hair I'm repulsed. One of those ugly hairless cats. I pee afterwards. I guess the hair kept the flow going straight down. Now it's like a spray going all over the place. There must be a system.

Anyway I'm in a hurry. I'm late. I only nicked myself a few times. There's not much blood. I tell my mom I have another appointment. I need her car since mine is still in storage. I don't explain. I'm sure she thinks it has something to do with my face.

Oh shit! I'm a half hour early. I could have spent more time down there getting the hair off. The poor girl has to shave off more, more without lotion , soap, or shaving cream since I did such a poor job.

But it's done. I had no problem touching it before, but now it looks like a scary alien. Hair was there for a reason - at least in my case.