Fainting

So I lied. I have almost fainted (or something) before. The something was 30 years ago in Hawaii. I used to hitchhike all the time, especially when I lived on the Big Island of Hawaii. I first lived in Volcano, Hawaii. I worked for Volcano House when it was privately owned. If you worked for Volcano House you could live in the employee cabins for only $50 a month. On my shifts I could eat for free so I spent very little money - all besides the point. Volcano was at 5000 feet, so it was wasn't hot, quite cool at night, and not near the beach so on my days off I'd hitch, usually to Kona. I usually stayed with my friends on lived on Telephone Exchange Road. I have lots of wild hitchhiking stories. They will have to be told another time. But on this one particular time I was picked up by these religious fanatics.

These fanatics preached to me the evils of alcohol, they gave me a bible, and prayed I would get a safe ride the rest of the way to Kona. As soon as I got out of their van I was picked up by some other friends of mine and we immediately beelined it to the nearest liquor store. We drank and made our way towards Telephone Exchange. When I got out of the car I fell to the ground and had some sort of epileptic type fit. Second later I came to and I was totally sober. Obviously, I was freaked out and didn't drink any more that night.

The next day I went to the nearest Alcohol Anonymous chapter. After a few minutes of listening to more religious spill I decided there was nothing wrong with me. I never had anything happen like that again.

Ten years ago I was working at L'Osteria del Forno. The chef brought in some habinero peppers and me being the masochistic, macho that I am ate two - just to make sure he knew how tough I was. My mouth wasn't on fire, but I felt like passing out. The other waitress told me to go upstairs to storage room and lay down. We weren't busy so I went up there, laid on my back and put my feet up. In just a couple of minutes it was as if I never ate them. I felt fine and went back to work.

This brings me to my most recent episode. On December 31st my cousin Catha and her husband, Ron were here visiting and Catha wanted to see the Owen's home in Independence. I really could care less about ancestors. I have never been to Independence. Harry Truman is from there and seems to be a favorite school outing, but our class never went. I just wanted to get out of the house.

The previous day I was at the Podunk gym. There was a girl twenty years younger than me who was going quite fast on the treadmill next to me. I couldn't stand that and upped my speed. My hip hurt afterwards, but that didn't stop me from shoveling more snow off the driveway. I was limping now. I knew the gym would be closed on January 1st, so although I was limping I went back to the gym on the 31st and ran an hour more on the treadmill. When my cousins came to pick my mother and myself up, I could barely walk.

I don't want to leave out anything so whether it's important or not, I'm mentioning it. It's not unusual for me to not sleep well and the night before was no different. I also want to mention that I had a glass of wine with lunch before we went to this house. Most of the time when I go out for lunch with others I have a glass of wine. I ate well and felt fine except for my limp. Then we went to the house.

The owner of the home was excited to see us and immediately started talking about Sam Owens and his wild daughters. I wasn't listening well and I'm sure Catha will correct me, but one ran off and married a lawyer when she was 14. He later killed a man he thought was flirting with her in this very house. It was either her or her sister that was married to three men at the same time.

I wasn't listening well, because I desperate to sit down. I became dizzy as soon as I walked in the door. The house was filled with antiques. I had to sit, but where? I kept telling myself not to fall, I had to keep moving. I moved closer to the door and when I couldn't stand it, I went out. I thought the air would help but it didn't. I went back in and asked Ron for the keys to his car. "I have to lay down."

The woman of the house said I could lay down in the family room. I went in there and laid on the sofa with my feet propped up on the arm. I laid prone for 20 minutes. Then I was fine.

After the tour the owner told us I wasn't the only one this happened to. One woman refuses to ever go in the house again. She said there might be ghosts. Ron teased me, saying one entered my body.

This assumption pleases me. I'm sure there's another reason but I don't think having one glass of wine or pulling a muscle is it.