Toilets

  Usually I say you can judge a good restaurant by its bathrooms. Well it does make me feel better. When Brigitte and I were on the China border with Cuong we ate at this really great restaurant, one of my best meals so far and this time we really wished that Cuong was with us and hadn't run off. Cuong actually wanted to come to this border town more than we did. It was a huge shopping town of knock off Western clothes and Cuong wanted to buy something for his wife.
 
   Brigitte and I found a very popular restaurant. No menus. We pointed at another table's food and, of course, by doing this they wanted us to join them. We refused but that didn't stop them from bringing over the rice wine - high quality stuff too!
 
   The Peking Duck- the best ever, Chinese broccoli cooked perfectly, still slightly crisp with garlic and oyster sauce and fried tofu then braised with more vegies in this turmeric curry sauce. I'm sorry I can't describe more adequately the shiny dark amber of the duck, the bright greens and yellow sauce of the tofu. No matter where you go, no matter how simple or inexpensive, your meals are always colorful in Vietnam.
 
   Well, I had to pee. I open the door to a big cement room. A woman was guarding the door for her friends because it was used for both men and women. Several women were squatting with their pants down. There was no way I was going to squat on cement and have pee splatter all over me let alone step in it. I went back to the table and told Brigitte I was going to hold it.
 
   So I'm desperately looking for a place to pee and now Brigitte has to go, too. We see a hotel. I gotta tell you 90% of the time men can go anywhere. As a woman I think I could write a book on just toilets: the best ones, the worse ones and where to find them. If there's an expensive hotel around that's where I go. If like Raffles in Singapore or the Sofitel in Hanoi or even the St. Francis in San Francisco since they're conveniently located I'll go every time I'm close just because the bathrooms are so luxurious. 
 
   I have to sidetrack here. If you're in the St. Francis you must take the elevator (passed the bathrooms to the right) to the 30th, 31st, 32nd and keep pushing those numbers for one of the best views in town. The last time I did this a Latino man with his young son were doing the same. If you're really lucky no one will get in on your way down and you'll get that feeling of having your stomach drop. Kids love this and so do I!
 
    Back to this hotel at the Friendship border - it was not like one of those mentioned above. We enter the hotel and I seem to have a homing device to find the bathroom quickly. There it is, the WC. Brigitte and I go in and immediately the smell of ammonia overwhelms me. It's an open room with a trough and four holes in it. Most of these holes have been missed. Piles of feces surround them. I have to go. I squat and hold my breath. Brigitte is squatting besides me. This clinches our bond.