English Please

The closer I got to Georgia the less English I heard. From Amasya I went to Giresun on the Black Sea. Because of the Turkish I've learned I don't have a problem getting around. I know how to ask directions and get what I want. I also know how to switch the computer from Turkish to English which is really important, because they definitely don't how to do it here in Giresun.

Usually when I arrive to a new place the first place I go is the internet cafe then I want a beer - nothing new here. I'm shown a hip place. It's 8 pm and I'm told a band will start at 10 pm in the meantime I have a gathering of young men surrounding me. My pleasantries in Turkish can only go so far: my name/your name, how are you, where I was yesterday, where I'll go tomorrow and that I like Turkey. The owner of the bar is about my age and has a collection of early 70's music: Cream, Janis Joplan, Pink Floyd, Led Zepland (sp). He plays this as I sit there. I think the young men would prefer something newer so I pass around my I-pod: Artic Monkeys, Ramones, Pixies but what they really like is X. BTW whatever happen to Xenene (sp) and John Doe? I guess I can Google them but maybe someone else might know.

I'm really hungry, especially after the beer and smoking cigs and nargile (water pipe). I wanted an apple flavored nargile, but they didn't have any. Since I'm in cherry territory I ask for cherry. It was like smoking cough syrup. They didn't want me to leave until one of their friends came that spoke English. I already waited for one of their friends to arrive but he didn't speak anymore English than I spoke Turkish. I told them I'd come back after dinner. I should have but I was too tired - another Turkish word I know.

So I thought that was frustrating, but now I'm in Georgia. Even though I caught the bus in Turkey I knew immediately something was different. The bus I catch is NOT a typical Turkish bus. There are no stewards wearing ties and passing out tea, coffee, juice or snacks, no women wearing head scarves, men are sitting next to women, the bus is dirty, people are smoking, the back of the bus is packed with boxes, luggage and a bicycle.

I can't listen to my I-pod because it has to compete with the really loud music and then the dumbest video about this man who never stops grinning with special powers but kind of acts like Mr. Bean. Anyone unfortunate enough to see any of his shows will know what I mean. The other passengers love it.

I have been through countless border crossing but this had to be the most disorganized, chaotic one. Some of the boxes and luggage were checked and some of it wasn't. If you didn't want customs to look through your luggage your stuff could have easily slipped through. My pack wasn't checked but my passport was scrutinized so much I didn't think they were going to let me in.

I brought a Russian phrase book but no one speaks Russian here, not that it matters because I never opened it until I went for dinner and realized it was useless. No one, absolutely no one speaks English here. No one on the bus spoke English or Turkish because they were all Georgian. Fortunately the streets are written in both Cyrillic and whatever alphabet we use. Everything else is gibberish along with what I hear. I do have a map so I how to get to the recommended restaurant. But I haven't a clue what I'm ordering. It's not bad. I get a tomato, cucumber, onion salad and these huge dumplings filled with ground pork.

I had a beer first - more on that later. After dinner I decide I'd like a shot of vodka, knowing that it's very popular here. "Vodka," I say. I'm brought a water glass size. What! I can't possibly drink all that unless I'm carried back to my hotel. I motion crawling on the floor. And then with my thumb and forefinger I make the small amount I want. They look at me strangely and don't do anything. So I go to the bar and point to the bottle and a shot glass. They all start laughing. They had given me water. Vodka is the word for water. We all giggling over this everytime we looked at each other.

Now I'd like an ice cream or some other sweet. Either is very easily found in Turkey, but not here. Every time I saw what looked like an ice cream stand it was a beer stand. They are everywhere, but you can't be squeamish about using the communal glass.